Humanity should ban the practice of selling clams in excess of 500 miles from the ocean. A clam quickly becomes the perfect containment device for the next super virus. It’s a petri dish, but less sanitary. Only the most steel-stomached or desperate should attempt to pry open a clam and vacuum out its insides if a saltwater beach isn’t in sight. Come to think of it, eating a clam is not a thing you can proudly do. Eating a clam is the dining equivalent of picking your nose in public, if you lock eyes with someone while in the act, you’re done for.